Wednesday, 3 April 2013

Warren's One Bad Egg

One Bad Egg….  written by Warren Bell

The federal government has just spent $5 million dollars on a totally terrific cause. They’ve caught a gang of Evil-Doers, a shadowy organization lurking around the edge of decent society, aiming to pounce on innocent politicians and corporations, eager to disrupt law and order and good governance.

One year ago, the government of Stephen Harper promised to spend $8 million to root out bad charitable organizations who were being “political” – that is, lobbying for changes in government behaviour that the government itself wasn’t ready to support.

Now Metronews-Vancouver reporter Katie Gibbs has found out what happened this year past.

After closely auditing 880 organizations, our Prime Minister and his trusty lieutenants Natural Resources Minister Joe “Tough Guy” Oliver and Environment Minister Peter “Sniff-‘em-Out” Kent have found a pretty bad criminal organization that was “getting political”

What they found was a bunch of doctors, banded together in an organization brazenly called “Physicians for Global Survival” (I mean, who gives a fig about global survival when we’ve got the Oil (Tar) Sands on our side).

And the unspeakable actions this hardy band of rogue physicians were promoting were… well, nothing small potatoes like bombing the Parliament Buildings, or lying down on the train tracks, or naked protest marches.

Physicians for Global Survival were pushing to abolish nuclear bombs, and the uranium industry consortium that supports them.

No wonder they had to go.

And Physicians for Global Survival didn’t stop there. They were advocating for “the prevention of war, non-violent conflict resolution, social justice and a sustainable world.”

They didn’t even bother to hide it. They spelled it out, right in the open – on their website. If you don’t believe me, then go have a look.

You’ll see how really bad these guys are.

What’s more, it turns out that Physicians for Global Survival have been getting away with this kind of evil-doing for over 3 decades – flying under the radar, quietly undermining the work of the beloved military-industrial complex and corporate weapons manufacturers and the uranium industry for (gasp) 32 years – and all these years, previous weak-kneed, lily-livered governments had turned a blind eye.

But no more.

Stevie and Joe and Pete are on the job.

This is a good news story. Physicians for Global Survival have been caught and punished. They’ve been forced to give up their charitable status, and create a whole new organization that promises to never go rogue political again.

Now if they behave, then maybe their new organization can have charitable status and grant tax receipts to donors – as long as they behave.

But there’s more good news.

At the top I mentioned the government had set aside $8 million to catch more bad guys. It’s true. But they’ve only spent $5 million of it. So now Stevie and Joe and Pete can get more bad guys next year – or maybe they’ll just get the old ones all over again. Whatever.

And here’s one further piece of good news. The Fraser Institute, full of good guys who just love to tell it like it is, and appreciate nice donations from good old guys like the Exxon gang, and those Koch brothers who love to have Tea Parties – the Fraser Institute will never be shut down.

All the Fraser Institute does is explain why the government has to do what it does – things like catching evil-doers.

But now, I have to make a confession. I have a big fat conflict of interest.

I was once president of Physicians for Global Survival.

And I’m still a member.

And a supporter.

Sigh…..I’d better go down to the jail-house and turn myself in.

Or maybe…maybe….I’ll just let Stevie and Joe and Pete come and get me.

With those Three Amigos on the trail, it’s only a matter of time.